The girl I’m seeing baked me brownies,gave me multiple gifts and flowers for Valentine’s Day. I didn’t get her anything.
So for context me(22M) and this girl(21F) have been seeing each other for a while now. She keeps insisting on keeping things casual, I want her to be my girlfriend. Were stuck in this back and forth were she keeps ending things but we get back together. I’m not gonna go into too much detail. I’ve vented about our problems multiple times on my profile if you want to read it lmao, Please don’t slander her or call her names.
Anyway a few days ago we were laying in my bed and I asked her if she wanted to do something for Valentine’s Day. She looked at me like I grew a second head and said ‘no, absolutely not’ she proceeded to say that she thinks it’s bullshit and that we’re not a serious couple anyway so why should we. I told her it’s just a nice way to show the people around you that you care about them. I always get my mom and sister a nice gift. I was pretty excited to celebrate it with her because she clearly never had anyone do anything nice for her and I just really wanted to do something nice for her you know? I was pretty upset about that. But I let it slide because I know she has commitment issues and leaves the moment things get too serious for her.
Apparently she did notice how upset I was about it because today I walked in my appartement after work and she was there, she decorated the place a little bit, she baked me some brownies and cookies (they’re so good, her brownies are my fav.), made me a gift basket and wrote me a really nice valentines card while also making a nice dinner for us. I was really shocked because I never got anything like this for Valentine’s Day, and it really wasn’t necessary for her to go all out like that. I didn’t even expect to see her today. I didn’t get her anything, and she told me that was fine and that she preferred that. I still don’t want to accept that tho, I’m gonna get her something really nice tomorrow and I’m hoping it won’t blow up in my face. Shes sleeping next to me right now and I keep thinking, I just don’t know how I got so lucky with such an amazing girl but I still cant make her mine.
******edit: I think you guys are being really unfair towards her. She’s been through a lot and I’m not trying to justify her actions but she’s always been very clear that she doesn’t want anything serious. I’m the one who fell in love with her. If you want to read the whole story please read my old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GuyCry/s/DJAq8VSyGJ
Just don’t come on here and slander her for no reason. She truly is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met
*********edit 2: in the valentines card she wrote that she felt really bad that she ruined something I looked forward to and that’s why she did this for me.
Update: oh boy what a day. I woke up early this morning and I bought her flowers. I took her out to eat breakfast and had a really hard and difficult conversation with her. I’m not gonna share all the details but I was just very up front. I just told her I really liked and appreciated her, that no matter what happens I will stick by her side. Even if she hurts me or pushes me away. She cried and basically just told me that she really likes me too but she’s too scared to fuck this up. The reason why she didn’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day was because she was scared I was gonna go all out for her. Her words were something along the lines of ‘I was scared that you were going to put a lot of energy and money into me, just for me to hurt you again, I don’t want that to happen. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that when you asked me about vdays that’s why I decided to still surprise you’ She said she’ll try open up more about her feelings in the future and stop pushing me away. She’s still telling me to date other people in case she ‘fucks’ up. But I’m not gonna Ofcourse. Idk it feels like we made a bit of progress. We also talked a little bit about her past trauma, she didn’t wanna talk about it but she did told me she want to get better. And in the future she won’t shut me out if she feels sad or triggered. I didn’t tell her to go to therapy but I did vaguely talk about it lol. She went back to her house but I’m picking her up later tonight, I made dinner reservations and I’m buying her some presents.(It’s my love language can’t help it. Thanks for all off your advice!
Update 2: she cancelled our plans because one of her little siblings had an emergency. :/ we’re going out for brunch tomorrow instead.