should I end myself? (21M)

i have dropped out of college 3 times due to my mental health, always lonely and alone, I work part time in the weekends, never have been touched romantically, all my life I was alone and sad

the thing is even if I started getting better, I dont wanna live in this world, for example, even if I get a partner, they will be weirded out by lonely I am, I cant really make friends due to me stutter, im 21 so most of the people judge me, I feel like im in mental agony, I used to say "it get better" but I lost all the hope now, I wanna have fun for the next few months and want to end myself before this year