How you handling the holidays?

Me and my dad don't even celebrate Christmas. Best we've got is a few gifts and some cake. No decorations or stupid family gatherings, but still I'm anxious as shit. I found myself staying awake for hours last night, just laying there with my heart pounding. I haven't had a panic attack in like two months but it's like I can feel another building. I just want it all to be over. I want everyone to shut up. January winter is so much more enjoyable than December winter.